


Like Real People Do

by myriadofcolors37



Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: Blow Jobs, Cunnilingus, F/M, Jester is a domme, Loss of Virginity, Oral Sex, This is more of a 'cheerful virgin wants to get FUCKED' fic, Tieflings have unusual genitalia, Xeno pussy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-14
Updated: 2018-06-14
Packaged: 2019-05-23 05:52:13
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,305
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14928383
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/myriadofcolors37/pseuds/myriadofcolors37
Summary: Jester has an itch that she hopes Fjord will scratch.





	Like Real People Do

**Author's Note:**

> For Jas, based on their Tiefling Genitalia sketches, because everyone needs more xeno pussies.  
> And the Widomauk server, who also cheered me on.
> 
> This is very possibly one of a chaptered fic, but it'll be less pressure. This is my fun fic.

They had returned to Labenda, the awful swamp town, sore and tired and unhappy about everything that had gone on in the last few days. Or at least Jester was—she hadn’t done as well as she had hoped in the team, and she was grumpy and feeling gross. She would have kept up the grossness tirade in her head, and maybe outside of her head, but Fjord’s story about his dream, his shoving the gem into his stomach, everything he had said swirled in her mind, making a cacophony of curiosity and terror and sense of upcoming loss. What if he had died? What if he had killed himself in his fugue state?

That’s when she decided she had had enough dancing, calling him Oskar when he saved her, flirting with him. She was gonna get him while he was still there to be got.

The only problem was trying to catch him.

* * *

 

Fjord’s drink sat heavy on his stomach, uneasily, like eating greasy eggs during a riotous storm. While the others enjoyed themselves, drinking and discussing the next plan of attack, he excused himself and cleaned himself in the inn’s one washroom. It wasn’t the cleanest he’s ever felt, but most of the water come off dirtier than when he came in, so that meant something, right?

He touched his stomach, closing his eyes and tracing where his dream self, in form of his captain, shoved the gem. He felt sick again, but there was no sign of it in his stomach. He washed himself off, drained the water, and then looked at himself in the single mirror. There were no markings, just himself—his green-blue stomach clenching and twitching in phantom gripes. He looked at himself again. He had kept up his appearance, if not the strength of his sailing days, and yes, Jester would probably call his stomach rippling, even firm, but really, there was a bit of a paunch there, and he was definitely in the softer category of rippling muscles. He snorted, thinking of Jester and her pretty blue eyes and her smile, so often curled up in a joke.

There was a knock at the door, then, and he wrapped up his lower half in a towel quickly and gathered his clothes, before opening the door, saying, “I was just leaving—” and Jester herself was there, her mouth in an O, and Fjord felt his dick perk up, seeing _that_ mouth looking like _that_.

“Oh I’m sorry Fjord! You didn’t have to stop because of me!”

“No, no, I finished,” he said, and took in a deep breath. “What can I help you with, Jester? Everyone downstairs alright?”

“Yeah, they’re fine, I think they’re armwrestling or something,” she said dismissively, and not like that was the most pathetic and interesting thing they could do. (Yasha would beat them all. Caleb would likely break a bone. Molly and Beau would likely punch each other out instead. Nott would cheat. He had thought about this extensively during a few sleepless nights.) “I came to check up on you, see if you were okay?”

She sounded sincere, and concerned, but in the way she also handled Nott and Kiri. Like the way you did a child. “I’m fine, Jester,” he told her, and tried to move around her, but she stood solidly right in his way, and in fact followed him. “I—please move, Jester.”

She did so, so he left the washroom but faced her in the hallway, still dripping from the bathwater but it’s not like it mattered, everything was soggy in this godsforsaken land. “Are you sure you’re okay? Because I have a question and I would like you to be okay when I ask it.”

“You just did ask a question,” he pointed out, and sighed inwardly. She would ask him about the ship, or what he had done, and he wasn’t ready, wasn’t willing to give it out, wasn’t ready to trust her yet. Or any of them.

“No, I have a different question.” She looked up at him, and took in a deep breath, and said in a hushed but quick voice, “ _Willyouhavesexwithme_.”

“What?”

She blushed, just a little, but her usual crooked smile was up. If he hadn’t spent two weeks with her, he wouldn’t have noticed—but she was nervous, dancing in place a little, her tail swishing. “I said,” she said loudly, and then crooked a finger towards him, beckoning down. He bent, turned his ear towards her, and shivered when she repeated, “Will you have sex with me?”

“This… Jester, I’m sorry, but this has been a long few days, and a lot to take in—are you really sure of this?” He wasn’t so sure himself. She was nice, and he had definitely admired her when they had been in the bathhouse together, had admired her plump ass and thick lips and full breasts, but he was not interested in a realizing, not interested in pursuing anything, not when he was, well, maybe cursed.

“I am!” She said. “I’ve read all about it and I want you to take my virginity.” She mock swooned, leaning against the bathroom door like a bad actress’s performance of a ravished maiden, her arm leaning across her forehead, her legs tilted together, her eyelids lowered.

Oh gods she was a virgin. “Oh, gods. Jester,” he started, and her eyes snapped open to look at him. “Jester, I appreciate the sentiment, but really, I don’t—”

“You don’t want me,” she said, dully, and her performance stopped, now leaning against the door sadly.

“No, no, that’s not it,” he did want her, sort of, but the way you kind of want wine, but if you can’t get it, you won’t die. “I do like you, Jester, but right now is not a good time, what with the gemstone and we’re in the muck and I really don’t know if you’re, you know, sure about losing your… virginity.” He had had a sister when he first left for the seas, and had heard many a clucking from his mother about girls losing their precious jewel or something, it was something he had never thought about really; fine women who cared about such things were never for him.

“I’m sure,” she replied quickly. “I really don’t care about it, it’s not like it makes me less of a person, I mean, my mom has had sex _loads_ of times, that doesn’t make her any less AMAZING.”

“Fair,” he said.

“I just want to, you know, do it. Get fucked! I wanna try everything, blow joooobs, hand joooobs, anaaaal,” she sang, counting it off of her fingers. “I’ve heard A LOT about oral, and I’ve read a LOT of books, so technically I’m really experienced! Like, REALLY. Except for the actual doing things.”

Luckily the inn was not very busy—but he could feel himself blushing, and his dick was certainly interested in the ideas she was putting out. “I, uh,” he cleared his throat. “I have no problem with it,” he said, finally, and when she grinned and tried to reach for his towel, he took a step back, holding a hand out to push her away. “I’d like to ruminate on this a bit more though—and settle my stomach. I was given quite a shock today—”

“Oh, right! The gem! Yeah, it was real scary, I didn’t know what you were trying to do,” she interrupted, and then stared at his stomach, hard. “May I see if I can feel it?”

“Oh, um,” he said, but she took a step closer and he figured—why the hell not. “Sure.” And her fingers were on his stomach, light and warm and then pressing firmly against his skin, pressing around his stomach like a medic would, but his cock was still confused, feeling her so close, and wow it had been a long time since a woman touched him.

She furrowed her brow, and shook her head. “I can’t feel anything,” she said, and looked up to Fjord, and they were close, close enough to kiss, close enough for her hand to wrap around his dick—

“May I touch your dick, Fjord?” She asked in a low voice, and it was the sexiest thing he had ever heard, but his stomach still felt like rotten eggs rolled inside. If he did say yes, it would be no difference to his stomach if she stoked him to completion right here in the inn hallway (oh gods yes), but if she was a virgin, he wanted to make it good for her, wanted to give her something better than an awkward handy.

He took a step back, removing himself from her touch, and stammered, “A week.”

“A week?” She stayed stock still. “Why?”

“A week, and we’ll be out of this shithole of an inn, we can find somewhere better for your, uh, first time, and then I’ll be less surprised,” Fjord explained, but that was the kinder version. She really had jumped this on him, at the worst possible time, and if he laid on his stomach to fuck her (Fuck) or bury his head in between her legs (FUCK) he would surely vomit, and he did not want that as a start for what was doubtless going to be a long, vibrant sexual history.

“Ok! A week! But not more than that, because a week after that I start my period,” she told him, and winked, and then skipped down the hallway, waving at him.

Once in the room he shared with Molly, he couldn’t even jack off, lying on the bed staring at the ceiling, wondering if he really did want to do it. (Yes he did.) Jester was sweet and funny (and her mouth!!) but what if she wanted a relationship? (Why not? He wasn’t sworn to celibacy.) What if she demanded more of his past? (had she ever pushed before? No, you’re making it harder than it has to be.) What if he hurt her? He was callous and rough and she was sweet and sensitive and a fucking mischief maker. (You thought about bending her over the table and spanking her before, hearing her moans, you got off thinking about it just a few days ago.)

Fjord groaned, alone in the room, and tried not to think about her bouncing on his lap.

The waiting was torture. Everywhere Fjord went, Jester was there. Most of the time it was innocuous—Jester brushing against him as they fought bandits together, Jester handing him the map with a heated, low-lidded look, and then she managed to lick her lips in _just_ the right way to make him heated as they switched watches, and he had to lay down on the hard ground and try not to think about a bed, Jester in that bed, naked and warm and lovely, and tried especially hard not to think about her shrieking his name.

He might as well have been on that watch, for all the sleep he got, hiding his erection with his armor that he draped over himself. He thought Jester chuckled, but then she was talking to Beau, her eyes glittering in the low firelight as she glanced at him.

By the end of the week’s travel to Shady Creek Run, Fjord was aching. They found the inn, a nice and quiet place, and as the rest of the party entered the inn, Fjord cleared his throat, and asked, “Jester?”

“Yes, Fjord?” She replied sweetly, and pulled off to the side with him, pressing her back against the brick wall. “Did you want something?” Her tone was light, teasing, and she licked her lips invitingly.

“About our agreement,” he said in a low rumble. “Are you still interested?”

“Very.” She grinned cheekily, and leaned in. “I’ve been thinking about what was under your towel this whole time. And your little treasure trail,” she sang cutely, and fuck if that wasn’t endearing, and didn’t make him smile. “And you, Mr. Fjord? Are you interested?”

“Aye,” he replied, and leaned in to peck her on the lips, just something small, but she squealed and stood on her tiptoes and swung her arms around his neck and kissed him, and he was pulled off balance and ended up pressing her against the wall, teeth knocking against each other, and he pulled back and winced. “Sorry, that was clumsy of me.”

“No, it was good, just less teeth,” she told him, and pulled him down again, claiming his mouth passionately. It wasn’t a great kiss, but fuck if it wasn’t enthusiastic, and his heart flipflopped tenderly. He was pressed against her, his cock hard under his trousers, pressed against her soft stomach, and oh gods this felt _good_.

“Softer—less open mouth at first,” and oh, that was better, that was less messy. Now that he wasn’t overwhelmed by her, he could tell that her mouth was a hint chapped, but soft and sweet, and her breath tasted like cinnamon and sugar. He pulled back reluctantly, opening his eyes, and saw her reaching for him instinctually, her own eyelids fluttering open. “Hi,” he said awkwardly, chuckling.

“Hi,” she breathed. “We should maybe not make out in front of here.”

“No,” Fjord replied, and she sighed and took her arms down from his neck. He took a step back, and straightened his armor, trying (and probably failing) to hide his erection. “We should not. Did you, uh, still want to do this, then?”

“Yes, absolutely, positively, one hundred and ten percent _yes_ ,” she cheered, grinning, and marched into the inn. Fjord followed behind and found her already paying for a room, “ _for two_ ,” she was saying pointedly to the innkeeper who probably could care less.

He jogged up to the desk and cleared his throat. “A nice room, please,” he added.

“Oh, all our rooms are quite nice, but we have a few extra packages if you want a very nice time,” the innkeeper cooed.

Fjord handed her the gold piece it took for the Exquisite Suite, and considered what to say to the rest of the Mighty Nein. They didn’t need to know, really, it was between Jester and himself—

“—And Fjord is going to take my virginity,” Jester was announcing to the group. Nott covered Kiri’s ears in horror. “So no one expect us until WAY late tomorrow morning, like, maybe until even the AFTERNOON.” 

Jester grinned at Fjord then, and he tried to smile back, but now everyone was looking at him. “Take good care of her, young man,” Molly said, smirking.

“Yeah, treat her well,” Beau called out after him, grinning. “Do what the lady says.”

Caleb buried his hands in his face, beet red, and Yasha blushed herself, but staring at the ceiling awkwardly. This was going worse than he had ever considered, but then Jester was bouncing up next to him, and beaming. “Ready?”

“Please get me out of here,” he said, and she laughed and dragged him up to the room they had rented for the night. It was too flowery, he decided. Lace was everywhere. But at least there was a good fire going in the fireplace.

Once they were inside, he turned to face her. “Jester,” he said carefully. “I don’t appreciate other people really knowing my business like that.”

“But I wanted to share that with them, I’ve told everyone how you planned to ravish me in the moonlight.” She pouted, leaning against the door.

“It’s barely dusk,” he replied. “And there’s not gonna be any ravishing here.”

“What if I want it?”

“I’d…” fuck, that was an attractive picture, ripping her clothes away and fucking into her in a clearing, her moaning his name. He shook his head to clear it. “Ravishing, uh, consensually—let’s build up to it first. Come to think of it, we should put up some ground rules.”

“Oh good! First, no face slapping, no spit or piss or shit or blood, and don’t call me a whore.” Jester rattled them off. “Oh, and I don’t think I’m into whipping, but maybe spanking?”

“How do you even know about any of that stuff?” He asked.

“My mother,” she said simply. “And I read a lot of books. Like, _a lot_. A lot of smut books, too, which helped because my mother couldn’t really show me everything I was curious about, without like, an audience, and that would have been REALLY uncomfortable.”

“Right.” He had forgotten about her mother. In some part of his brain he considered it—fucking (and deflowering) the daughter of the Ruby of the Sea might be a prize to some, but he really didn’t think of Jester like that, more like… sweet, chubby, grinning Jester. “Well. In the future, I’d thank you to not tell everyone everything about what we do here.”

She pouted. “Not even how really really AWESOME it’s going to be?”

“Okay, maybe a little,” he admitted. He was not above a little gloating. “But not too much. And Jester, after this is done—”

“Our fucking, right?”

And there it is, that word, sounding so wildly disproportionate to her whole everything, how fucking adorable she was, but then her licking her lips and offering to touch his dick and her flirting—all of it melded into one fabulously wonderful package called Jester. “Yeah,” he said, clearing his throat. “I just wanted to make sure you knew that this is between us, right here and right now, and that, well, that you shouldn’t expect a relationship or dating or something, I mean,” he said, looking at her expression, “for now, at least.”

She deflated, just a bit, but she took in a breath and nodded. “I understand. But only if you don’t fall _madly,_ _passionately_ in love with me by time we’re finished.”

“Who knows?” He teased. “Anything could happen.”

“Anything indeed,” she threw back, and winked. “Now. Shall I drape myself across the bed?”

“Please,” he said, and then she was stripping, taking off her cloak, her leather bodice, her blouse. Her skirt fell into a puddle on the floor, and all her clothing looked like wilted roses, tossed around carelessly. And oh—there she was, naked, blue body gleaming in the firelight, and she flung herself bodily on the bedspread, swooning with an arm over her head (why was she doing this) as she looked at him. He grinned, and took off his clothes with a bit more care, but only just, while he looked his fill. Her curves were more than generous; her breasts full, a good handful to hold (and he would hold!), her stomach expansive and soft and plump, and her legs were curvaceous and silky smooth as she crossed them at the ankles prettily. Her tail slipped from behind her back and was thumping gently on her left, the heart-shaped end loosely curling up and down on the bedspread. She was a fucking sight to behold.

 

* * *

 

Jester waited for Fjord to come _ravish_ her already, come at her, she was already ready for him to deflower her, but he was slow, watching her with half-lidded eyes, his look setting fire to her veins. Her nipples stiffened and puckered, and she lazily played with them while watching Fjord undress. He looked _very_ handsome—a bit of a tummy, not rippling with muscle exactly, but yummy all the same, with the hint of the black treasure trail curling down to the jut of his legs. And when his trousers came off, she raised herself on her elbows to see his dick—a good fat penis, from what she could tell, and half-raised.

He joined her on the bed, crawling on his hands and knees until they were aligned, and he bent to kiss her. “Now,” he said, breathing against her neck, “now is the open-mouthed kisses.”

And then they were kissing, Fjord’s body pressed against hers, their naked bodies together, and everything seemed beautiful, everything was overwhelming her senses in the _best_ kind of way, like color and touch and taste and sound were everywhere, all at once. It was like a carnival—there was so much _fun_ to explore. Fjord felt good on her, it felt good, she was kissing him and it was _good_ , breathless and fun and wonderful, just like the stories said. He tasted like the rabbit they had for lunch and something musky but she loved it, she could taste that forever. She fluttered her eyes open and closed, trying to see and feel everything all at once, this was so _nice_ , and wrapped her legs around Fjord’s back.

Now she could feel it, his cock was jutting against her thighs, and she wanted it, tried to arch into it.

Fjord stopped suddenly, and Jester opened her eyes. He was panting ( _yay_ ) and chuckled. “Eager, aren’t ya?”

Jester scrunched up her nose at him. “Yeah, well, so are you!” She shifted her leg, brushing against Fjord’s hard dick.

He jerked and grunted, his eyes widening, and then he chuckled, looking down at her. “Well, yeah,” he said. “You’re right about that. But it’s your first time, right? I wanna make sure you’re enjoying yourself.”

“I am!” She said, and tried to wrap around him again, but he wiggled out of her grasp and backed away, halfway off the bed, his face _very_ close to her pussy.

“I’d like to eat you out, Jester, if that’s okay with you.”

She squealed, her tail thumping quicker on the bed. “YES,” she shouted. “I’d LOVE that.”

 

Fjord chuckled, and bent over to her pussy and kissed the top of her pubic mound, the thick curls of wiry blue hair tickling his lips. Her pussy smelled intoxicating, heady and sweet and just a bit floral.  “Before we start,” he said, looking up, and grinned as Jester was already beaming. “Before we start, we should have a watchword, in case I do something you don’t like.”

“Oh! Right!” She chirped, and thought for a moment. “Doughnuts, I think?”

He snorted. “Okay. Doughnuts.” He bent down to kiss lower.

“You need one too, though,” she said, and when Fjord looked up she was watching him, looking worried. “In case I do something you don’t like.”

“I highly doubt you will—”

“I know, I’m going to be _amazing_ at sex, but in case?”

He chuckled. “In that case… Mizzenmast.”

“Mizzenmast. Got it.” She grinned. “After you take my virginity I’m going to demand that we try some more fun things. I’ve heard a LOT about ropes and bondage and I think I want to dom you?”

Fjord’s cock twitched against the bed. He had no doubt that she was going to be a good domme—she was already a force of nature in every other regard. “Let’s start with one thing at a time,” he said, and winked. “Are you ready?”

“Ready, sailor boy,” she teased, and wiggled her hips. “Eat me out!”

He kissed her mound again, kissed lower, smelling the beautiful wetness from her, and her legs spread more to accompany his shoulders, and he saw her pussy, glistening and indigo. He stopped—and blinked. The pussy was surrounded by eight soft-looking petals, deep blue, and pressed up against her groin. They looked like soft succulent leaves, with two small nubs on either side of the topmost one.  “Uh, Jester?”

“Yeah?”

“I’ve never, um, been with a Tiefling before. Anything I should know before I get started?”

“Oh! I’ve heard that our pussies are different from other species,” she said, and sat up on her elbows, and reached down, pointing. “When we’re excited our petals spread out.” She gestured, like a blooming flower. “And hold on when we’re coming, and then here and here—” she pointed to the nubs, shivering as she brushed them. “These are our clitorii.”

“Two?” Fjord breathed. Now that he could see what was happening, he was enamored.

“Two!” She chirped happily, and then looked nervous. “Is that… okay? With you? My pussy?”

He looked up at her, her beautiful face frowning with worry, and leaned up at kissed her mouth. “Just needed some direction is all, Beast Mode,” he said, and when she beamed, he bent down and got to work.

He licked all along the flaps, gently, sweetly, tenderly feeling each one with his tongue and lips. They had the same thickness of a succulent plant, and she shivered under him while he licked them, laving each one until he got to the top petal, with the two clitorii, and he gently laved, his tongue flat, over all three. She gasped loudly, and when Fjord looked up over her mound, her belly, her breasts, she was panting.

“Good?”

“Good!” She shouted, and her hands fluttered to him, then fell, then fluttered again. “May I grab your hair?”

“I’d love nothing more,” he said, and her hands were in his hair, pulling tight, and when he winced she loosened it. Perfect. “May I continue?”

“Please,” she said, and giggled and sighed when he went back to one of the most important things he’s done all day.

He laved and licked and sucked all along the petals, and she cried out and directed him— _more to the left, oh, sweep lower? Drag your tongue all the way up_ —and when it got down to it, it was the same as eating any other pussy, but Jester and her demands and her giggles and sighs were so essentially _Jester_ , and he was content. He focused mostly on her clits, sometimes dipping into her wet hole, tasting the sweet-salty tang of her, and when she came, she screamed out _“OSKAR!!”_ and held onto his hair almost painfully as she ground her pussy on his nose and mouth and chin, the petals he had loved arching into his face, but he’d be _damned_ if he moved away now. He held her hips as she came, and came down, panting and gasping. “Oh, Oskar,” she breathed, and he sighed against her, and detached himself from her pussy. He ducked below and grabbed his shirt, wiped most of the wetness off his face, and looked down at her. She was still bliss blind, barely focusing, but when he moved towards the bed again she grinned.

“That was very good.” She patted the bed beside her. “Thank you, Fjord.”

“Are you sure I’m not Oskar?”

Jester looked up at him and blushed, the same blood-filled indigo as her pussy. “Oh, I’m sorry Fjord, I didn’t mean to.”

“No, I know you didn’t,” he said, and slid onto the bed next to her. “But I do mind it. For the future, Jester, a man usually likes to be called by his own name, not someone else’s, in sex. And women too,” he said thoughtfully.

“Yeah, you’re right,” she said, and looked crushed. “I’m sorry.”

Gods above, seeing her sad made him ache. “It’s alright,” he said gruffly, and smiled at her. “Did I do well?”

“Oh, SO good,” Jester replied, and grinned, curling into his chest. “SO good,” she said, now muffled by his chest. She looked back up and looked apologetic. “I’m sorry for calling you the wrong name, it won’t happen again.”

“It’s no big deal, Jester, I just don’t want you doing that to someone you actually like, make them all mad and everything.”

She nodded silently, and then looked down, where his cock was softening against her leg. “Oh no! You’re losing your boner!”

He snorted. “Jester, I can’t _lose_ it,” but then she was reaching down, her hand ghosting over the tip, the heat of her hand just coasting over his cock, and she looked up joyfully, grinning.

“Fjord, may I touch your dick?”

“Yes, _please_ , Jester, yes,” and then she was scooting off the bed, shuffling down until she was kneeling on the wood floor, staring at his dick and smiling.

“Like what you see?” He teased, sitting up now, and tenderly brushed her hair from her face.

She was beaming. “Love it,” she said, and put his hand on her horn. “I think I like this, but I’ll tell you if I don’t, okay?”

“Okay.” He held on, admiring the view of Jester’s bright blue eyes and her focused look and her grin as she licked the head of his dick. 

 

* * *

 

Jester had no idea what her gag reflex was like, but she knew enough that she would not be able to deepthroat him on first brush, as hot as that would be for him. She would have to wait for a later date for that one, and even then it might not work out. But now there was a dick in front of her, and she _wanted it_. It was a nice dick, emerald-colored, about two hands wrapped around it length, with a good thick vein squiggling through it, leading to the smooth, blunt head. Really, it was cute, but Fjord wouldn’t appreciate that compliment as much, she thought. She licked the head, heard him gasp and hold on tighter to her horn, and smiled, and then licked the underside in a broad flat lick.

“Oh, Jester,” he moaned, and she wiggled in pleasure, but she also very much had a task ahead of her: suck the dick.

She licked all around it, even pressing her nose up at one point against the curly thick black hair at the base of his cock, but finally she licked her lips, tucked her lips around her teeth, and swallowed him. Fjord moaned again and held onto both her horns now, not pushing her (although she think it’d be hot) but definitely wanting to, slightly guiding her back and forth. She went as far as she could before his head hit the back of her mouth and she eased back, sliding off his dick with a slick _pop_ and then took another deep breath and tried again.

By the third time, she was an inch or two from his groin, and moving, eyes up to Fjord who was groaning in pleasure and holding her horns harder now, jerking her back and forth. Her tail, which had always been excitable, swished around and thumped on the floor.

“Fuck, Jester, I’m about to cum,” he said, and she popped back off and grinned.

“Good, then?” She said, holding onto his twitching dick and stroking it slowly. “Come on my tits.”

“Gods, Jester—”

And he came, nearly arching from the bed in his excitement, splattering white cum on her chest. She wiggled happily as she let go of his dick and sat up straight, capturing his panting mouth with a kiss. “ _That_ was wonderful, thank you, Fjord.”

She plopped beside him, lying flat on her back, and he grinned and fell back next to her. “Holy shit,” he said, once he caught his breath. “Holy _shit_.”

“Good? Wonderful? Am I an extraordinary lover?” She looked at her nails, preening.

“You’re certainly extraordinary,” he said, and kissed her again, deeply. She kissed back, she was getting _really_ good at kissing, but then suddenly Fjord’s hands slipped from her sides to her breasts, touching the cum and her nipples, and she pulled back and dipped a finger in the cooling jizz and tasted it. It tasted stronger than her own wetness, but the same sort of earthy musty goodness resonated. It wasn’t bad, but not _great_. However, Fjord’s wide eyes and burning gaze made it _all_ worth it. “You taste good, Fjord. Just so you know, for the future.”

Fjord paused, and chuckled, and touched her titties, and she reveled in the contact, in his warm big rough hands petting and weighing and holding them. She yelped when he ran a thumb against her nipple, and beamed. “My boobies are really sensitive,” she informed him, and leaned into his touch. “I don’t really know if I like slapping them, but a little bit of pinching is _really—_ oh!”

He had pinched them, and flashes of pain and pleasure swept through her. Her tail thumped on the bed, and she could feel her dampened petals peeking open as she began to get aroused again. She pushed off of the bed and straddled Fjord’s core, grinding down as she kissed him harder now, and he _oofed_ and kissed back, holding her boobs and pinching them often now, panting as they made out. 

They made out for a while before Fjord laughed, stopping. “Oh now, I know you’re eager, but we can’t go that quickly again.”

“Why not?” She was _very_ ready now, and _wanting_ _Fjord’s dick_ , _godsdammit._

“Because,” he said, sitting up on his elbows, “it’ll take me at least half an hour to get hard again.”

“Half an _hour_?” She shrieked. “Why?”

“Ah, the optimism of youth,” he said, sighing, and sat up. She was now sitting in his lap, and she liked this, but she could tell now that while she was all ready and wet and _very_ willing, he was decidedly… soft. “This is what happens when you get older.”

“You’re not that old,” she retorted, and slid off his lap to plop down on the bed.

“I’m 33. Most half-orcs live to around 50,” he said, and stretched. “I’m uh, I’m hungry. Want some food?”

“Sure,” she said, glumly, but after they looked over the menu together for room service, she was starting to get pretty hungry.

Room service came (heh) and went, and she was surprisingly ravenous. The room was pretty nice, and had a nice table to sit at, but Jester brought her plate on the bed, wearing Fjord’s shirt while she sat cross legged and worked at her roast beef.

“You’re an animal,” Fjord told her, sitting properly at the table, but chewing with his mouth full. “That’s disgusting. We just had sex there.”

“So? I also want to have sex on that table too,” she said. “And then on the chair there, and the floor in front of the fireplace.”

“Really.” He chewed, his look disbelieving. “You’re gonna lay on a cold hard floor?”

“Well, _Fjord_ ,” she replied, “the _gentlemanly_ thing to do is lay on the floor for me so I can ride you ranch-hand style.”

He snorted. “And if I don’t feel gentlemanly?”

“Oh! Then you can _take me_ ,” she said, swooning again. “Against the bedpost or the wall!”

He chuckled. “Well. I didn’t realize we had so many options for fucking.”

She shivered. There was something in the way he said that word, with a low growl, that got to her. “I’ve read a _lot_ of romance books,” she said. “And my mother, she’s really good at figuring things out like that as well. Where to fuck, how to do it, that sort of thing.”

“Well, just, try not to get your hopes too high,” he cautioned. “I don’t think I’ll be able to last a _terribly_ long time before being worn out.”

“How many times until you are?” She asked, curious.

“Twice.”

“Only _twice_?”

“That’s if we’re lucky, Jester. But… I think we’ll manage just fine.” He grinned. “Are you finished yet?”

“Yep!” She slid off the bed and placed the plate on the table, and bopped over and planted a kiss on Fjord’s forehead. “I’m not gonna eat too much because I want to go _as soon_ as possible.”

“There’s no rush,” he tried to say before she made a face.

“I know, but I _want it_.”

“Well,” he said, throwing down his napkin. “Then I guess we better start.”

They needed to warm up, of course, even though Jester was still wet, her petals had closed off, folding in on themselves. It was okay, she wasn’t upset, and it rarely took her very long when she was wanting to be aroused. They made out, starting where they had left off, and Jester was in Fjord’s lap, admiring his arms and shoulders and his very yummy-looking, biteable stomach. But now she was shoving her boobs in his face as he sucked on one nipple, bit the other, and then nuzzled his head between the two globes, making her laugh. She pet through his hair, and that made him moan, and she did it again and again until he was hard underneath her, and his dick pressed _very_ nicely against her pussy.

“May I fuck you like this,” Fjord grunted, his dick straining towards her.

“No, I want you to fuck me on my back,” she said. “Just for the first time, so I can see if I like it. But we should do this again soon,” she said, arching up and down against the dick, making Fjord moan.

She scrambled to lay on the bed, her head supported by pillows, and her hair cascaded around her. She wanted to look _perfect_ , and from the look in Fjord’s eyes when he crawled over her, she was.

“Jester, you’re still sure about this?” He murmured when he was above her, looking down. They were eyelevel to each other, and Fjord was being so nice and considerate, and Jester knew she had made the right choice in choosing him.

“Yes, Fjord, I am. Are you?”

“I can’t think of anything I want more than to be in you right now,” he answered gruffly, and kissed her roughly, deeply, leaving her breathless.

“You look beautiful,” he said, pulling back, and kissed a line down the valley of her breasts, to her tummy, down to her pussy, and straightened up, licking a finger. “I’m gonna open you up, just a bit, make it less painful for your first time.”

“Aw! Thank you Fjord! But I’ve already torn my hymen a few years ago from a dildo, but you’re so considerate.”

He chuckled. “Of course you did, you minx,” and he drew a gentle finger down her pussy, making her shiver. “But it’s been a while, and I don’t want you getting hurt if we can help it.”

“Or at least unintentionally,” she amended. “I still want to try the rope and paddle stuff.”

 

* * *

 

Fjord stopped and shook his head in amusement. Of course she did. “One thing at a time first.” He drew a single finger down her petals, touching them gently, and then slowly entered into her. Jester was wet and warm and felt wonderful, with coin sized smooth bumps all along her walls.

She inhaled sharply, and he looked up, but she just beamed. “More,” she insisted. “Another finger.”

“Easy, Jester,” he said. “My time to take you apart.”

She laughed, but that laugh turned into a pleased sigh when Fjord slipped a second finger in her pussy, gentle. “Oh, yes,” she said. He felt around her, feeling for the walnut shaped spot, and fluttered his fingers against it. She squealed, and Fjord grinned, and withdrew his fingers, licking them thoroughly before settling into a good spot.

“Alright, you ready?”

“Ready, sailor boy,” she said. “Please, Fjord, I’m _begging_ you, fuck me!”

Well, who could resist such a lovely plea?

“Alright,” he said, and lined his dick up with her pussy, watching as his green dick sunk into Jester’s indigo petals, watching them hold at every little pull he took to push in deeper. But Jester, oh, Jester was already squealing. He went slow, making sure that he didn’t hurt her, and there was a bit of a pained expression on her face—perhaps they could have opened her more—but he was in her, his dick clasped by her tight wet heat, and it was the best feeling he could have named, hands down. But Jester—“Jester, you okay?”

“Yeah, it’s just really big? And full? It’s good, it’s good, I promise,” she said as he started to ease out. “It’ll be better soon.”

“It’s a lot to take in,” he said, gently, and brushed the hair out of her face, angling awkwardly so he didn’t just fall on top of her.

“Haha.”

Fjord grinned, and shook his head. “No, I mean. You just take it easy, and let me know when to move.” It was a giant’s task not to move, but this was Jester’s first time—he wasn’t going to ruin it by his selfishness.

She took a few deep breaths, wiggled and adjusted her position, and then raised her head to kiss Fjord on his mouth. “Please move now,” she said, and he sighed in relief as he fucked in.

Something definitely changed—Jester gasped, and grinned, and moved with him, sighing happily as he fucked in, and out, gently at first.

“Fuck me fuck me fuck me,” she started in a litany, mixed with alternate yelps and sighs and “oh, _fuck_ yes,” and she was wrapping her legs around his waist and bringing her hands through his hair, carding through and she was holding him and moving with him and Fjord might have died and gone to heaven, but not before she came with him, too. He groaned when she kissed him, and they panted together, hot breaths mingling. He was getting close, and her pussy was tightening already, so he leaned on one elbow and reached down with his other hand and rubbed against her two clitorii and the front petal, and she _shrieked_ in his ear, “ _FJORD!_ ”

 He gasped when she came, her sweet cunt tightening around his dick and her petals fluttering against him, and he was coming too, fucking into her grunting, “Jester, Jester, fuck, Jester” and spilling into her pussy.

Fjord collapsed on top of Jester, and at her _oomph_ he rolled off her, choosing for the side, but he was unable to pull out. He looked down—her petals were sucking onto his dick, clutching him tightly there, and at his “what the—” Jester looked down and shrugged.

“They do that,” she said, cuddling into him. “To keep the seed in there.”

 _Fuck._ “Jester, we should have talked about this before, but I don’t think I’m ready for kids--”

“I’ve got an amulet,” she said lazily, eyes closed. “Mom gave it to me, she said in case I need it.”

“You’re not wearing it,” he pointed out, and her eyes flew back open.

“ _Shit_ ,” she said, and pulled off of him, making him wince—it was a harder thing to leave than it was to fuck into it, he found. She rustled through her bags and found it, clutching it her hand triumphantly before putting it on. There was a faint yellow glow around her, and then it faded. “It should work pretty soon,” she said worriedly, and returned to bed, and next to him. “But if not, we can—I can—see an apothecary.”

“Well,” he said. “If I can help, let me know. Or. Uh.”

The awkward situation fell between them—they were fuckbuddies now, not an actual relationship, and with the war and the Mighty Nein and everything going on, it would be a _terrible_ time to have a baby. If they wanted one. Fjord could see Jester being an amazing mother, and playing with her babies, but whether or not he was their father was… very unlikely. He didn’t _want_ kids, didn’t know what to expect from next week let alone nine months from now, and that was no way to raise babies. Besides, he didn’t have anyone to show him how to be a good dad or a bad dad or anything—there was just the orphanage, and the kind but distant matrons there.

“I’ll let you know,” she said. “But I really doubt it, it’s an instantaneous sort of thing, this amulet. Anyways, Fjord, would you mind holding me? Just for a little while until you’re up for another round? I liked it,” she added, grinning. “But I think I want you underneath me this time, and me calling the shots, okay?”

“Yes ma’am,” he replied, and held her soft, warm, slightly sweaty body.

 


End file.
